Waking up this morning, the heaviness of my worries, my fears, my hopes, my to-do list, came crashing onto my heart like a 10-foot wave. Sitting on the edge of my bed having such strong desires to accomplish much, I felt stuck. 30 minutes went by as I paged through my Facebook and Instagram feeds as I avoided putting my feet on the ground and figuring out how to start my day. Dragging myself out of bed, I grabbed my cup of coffee and sat myself in front of my computer hoping that words would come bringing clarity with each letter typed onto my screen. Writing out a few paragraphs for what I hoped would be a June Goal and update post, my fingers seemed forced and my words felt dry. Taking a deep breath and fighting off the frustration that ensued, I started a new page and began to speak to the Lord. Words flowed off my fingers as I talked with him about my heart, the heavy feeling of this day, my hopes and dreams, and the struggles that I feel in finding the right way to move forward. Closing my eyes and pouring out my heart to Him, His words came to my heart like a much needed deep breath. It’s all about Me. Suddenly it clicked and a realization swept in that yet again, my focus was displaced…
Throughout the years God has taught me time and time again how important it is to understand that this life I live is and must be all about Him. He loves me so much that He sacrificed His son to the cross, just so that I might be freed from sin and build a relationship with Him. He, this awesome God, who has the power to move mountains and part the seas, so selflessly gave up His son for Me (and for you!). And that’s not where His love ends. He knows my heart, all of it, the good and the bad, and He still wants me to get to know Him and be a part of what He is doing on this earth. Learning this lesson and shifting my perspective to the understanding that I want to be a part of what He’s doing, that I want my life to be about Him is something I know to be true in my heart, and yet it’s as if it hasn’t quite stuck because every single day, I get distracted, lose my focus and need to re-center on Him.
Wanting so badly to pursue the dreams that the Lord has placed in my heart, I’ve gotten so caught up in the steps I am trying to take, the “how am I going to get this dream off the ground?”, thoughts about which designer I might use to help me create a logo and brand that best represents what I hope to be as a writer, where I am going to submit an article to, fears of how I could possibly one day become what I hope to be- that I’ve become overwhelmed and lost sight of why I want to do it all in the first place.
The reason I write, the reason I want to be a writer is not about me. I write because of the Lord. I write because it helps me connect with Him and process what He’s teaching me. And I write because I believe he’s given me a voice to share and a call to encourage.
Reconnecting with the why, it’s as if the weight of the how and the when and the next step of what to do if I want to be a writer has fallen off my shoulders. The desire is still here, the questions are still here, but with Him the weight,the heaviness, the burden, has been lifted away.
I need to be reminded of this lesson every. single. day. To be challenged to submit my desires, hopes, dreams, fears into His hands knowing that He is faithful and that his mercies really are new every single morning.
Praying that you, too, would sink into His love and trust in His faithfulness. And that the words of Lamentations 3:22-23 would wash over your heart. “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
-- image by Roost Photography --