Looking back on 2017

One of my favorite things to do the week between Christmas and New Years Eve is to take time to reflect on the last year.  I love looking back at milestones, lessons learned and highlights; doing this helps me recognize ways that I’ve grown, and also gives me a fresh perspective of how the Lord has worked in my life throughout the last year.

At the beginning of 2017 I chose the word “full” for my word of the year.  I had BIG, ambitious goals in mind – ones like write a book and start a family – so this word seemed 100% fitting.  Since then, I’ve often referred to this year as the year of unmet expectations, because nothing I planned came to fruition.  But what I’m now realizing is that the word “full” was very fitting for this last year, it just wasn’t in the way that I had imagined.  Instead of being filled with a book and babies, this year was chocked full of self-realizations, life lessons, and unexpected blessings. 

2017 was full in ways that only the Lord could’ve orchestrated; it was a good year, a hard year, but it was far better than I imagined or expected.    Here are a few of the highlights, lessons and unexpected blessings that came with 2017.

HIGHLIGHTS

Hawaii & Charleston trips - We took two anniversary trips - one to Hawaii to celebrate our 5th anniversary (a bit belated) and one to Charleston, SC to celebrate our 6th.  It’s been a huge blessing to be able to celebrate marriage by traveling somewhere for our anniversary.  I hope it’s a tradition we are able to continue.

Camping – This one was on my top 5 favorite moments of summer; we bought a truck bed tent and went camping twice this year!  One of them being the first time we camped with just the two of us.  I never went camping growing up so this was a cool experience.

Writing milestones – This year I was published in (in)courage, Grit & Virtue, and Whilst.   I’ve also taken baby steps towards starting my book; I learned about writing a book proposal through a workshop and signed up for a writing retreat in June.  My favorite writing highlight was releasing my “things we don’t talk about" series.  I was overwhelmed with the positive response to sharing posts about marriage struggles and questions like “what if I don’t want to have kids?” And I am looking forward to finishing the series this January. 

LESSONS

Struggling with pregnancy thoughts - The year began with me thinking we were going to start a family, transitioned to anxiety as each friend started announcing their pregnancies, and transformed into a question of “what if I don’t want to have kids?”  Above and beyond, what I’ve felt the Lord impressing into my heart is to let go of my worries about starting a family and trust that He will communicate if/when we are supposed to have children.  This has been a hard subject to loosen my grip on, but doing so has given me great freedom. 

Heavy conversations in marriage are worth it – I would say that this has been our hardest year of marriage.  Not because anything crazy or bad happened, but because we’re asking hard questions about how we want to/need to love each other better.  Having these heavy, seemingly constant conversations this past summer was exhausting, but now that I am on the other side I can see how we have grown closer and built a stronger marriage.

Accepting my body – Over the past 7 years, I have struggled with the effects of having a hypermobile body; in short, what that means is most of my joints are overly flexible making them prone to instability.  As a result I’ve dealt with painful issues with both of my clavicles, my right hip, ribs, and forearms.   Frustrated with one ailment after another, I came to a turning point – essentially saying to myself, “Mindy you have 2 choices.  You can accept your body for what it is and learn how to care for it better.  OR You can hate it all the time and view every life adjustment you have to make as a limitation.”  Thankfully, Lord-willing, I opted for option number 1.  Instead of viewing my monthly PT, massage and Chiropractic appointments as frustrating requirements, I’ve learned to accept that each appointment is a valuable blessing that helps keep my body as happy as it can be.  The other cool part - I finally built a workout routine that I love! Yoga 2x a week, barre class 1x a week, plus 1 day of lifting is the perfect combo to help support and strengthen my body.  .   

UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS

I’m going to be an Aunt! – My sister is pregnant with her first baby, a baby girl!  I am so excited to step into my role as Auntie Mindy and snuggle and love that baby like it’s my job. 

New community with fellow writers – Being a writer can feel incredibly isolating, but this year the Lord surrounded me with a beautiful, unexpected community of fellow writers.  Through the wonderful world of Instagram I have found a sweet little group of writers.  Spread throughout the US, we follow each other's posts, and encourage each other as we navigate the world of writing.  Instagram also brought me a new "in real life" friend!  I can already tell this friendship is going influential; it is so clear that the Lord orchestrated the relationship.  I love when God surprises us like that.  

_ let go and let God _

If I had to name one overarching theme this past year, it would be this - let go and let God.  It's one of those cliché phrases but it is also incredibly true and mind-blowingly rewarding.  I tried to live 2017 according to my plans, and then God so tenderly, sweetly, gently encouraged me to stop striving, Seek Him and let the plans follow.  Giving Him control, allowing Him to define and shape the fullness that was 2017 is what made this year so unexpectedly beautiful.  

I am so thankful for the fullness of 2017, and I can't wait to see what God has in store this next year.  

Happy new years, friends!
Sending you lots of love and cheer as we ring in the new year!

* image of my most 'liked' Instagram posts of 2017 * 
thanks to 2017bestnine.com

Merry Christmas from the Larsens!

"But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people.  Today in the town of David a savior has been born to you; He is Christ the Lord.'" 
Luke 2:10-11

My favorite kind of Christmas cards growing up were the ones that contained pictures, updates and fun facts.  So without further ado, here's a virtual card from us to you! :)

Merry Christmas, sweet friends and family!  We cannot believe another year has passed and here we are celebrating Jesus' birth in 2017.  This past year has been a full one.  We celebrated 6 years of marriage, traveled to Hawaii and Charleston, SC and are so excited that we are soon going to be Auntie Mindy and Uncle Chris.  Chris has been working hard helping sell companies as Vice President at Cleary Gull and I've been working on stepping more fully into writing. And Finn (our kitty) has had a busy year playing fetch and climbing into our laps to cuddle.  We've learned a lot this year and through it all God has been clear, faithful and peacefully present; we are so thankful.

A few of our favorite anniversary pictures

*tap the picture to view the whole image*
photos taken by Caroline Ro

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A list of favorites...

Christmas movie: White Christmas

Christmas song: Noel by Chris Tomlin feat. Lauren Daigle

Christmas cookie: Peanut Butter Temptations

Winter memory: Cross-country skiing in the backyard

Christmas gift: Tender Teddy - the softest, white teddy bear with a green velvet bow.  My dad surprised my sister and I with big boxes on our bed when we came home from my grandparents one Christmas.  It was the coolest gift ever.  Truth - Tender Teddy still sits on my bed :) 

Highlight from the last year: Camping for the first time, just the two of us, in our new truck bed tent.

Characteristic of Jesus: His faithfulness

Personality trait of Chris: Chris is extremely selfless; I love that he chose "unfailing love" for one of his favorite characteristics of Jesus because I have learned a lot about Christ's selfless, unfailing love from my husband.

Christmas movie: Die Hard

Christmas song: Drummer Boy by Justin Bieber featuring Busta Rhymes

Christmas cookie: Peanut Butter Temptations

Winter memory: Snowmobiling with my dad

Christmas gift: One year my parents got me a playstation. The cool part was the way they gave it to me. Instead of giving me the system first, I opened my stocking to find a playstation game.  
 

Highlight from the last year: Celebrating our 5 year anniversary with a trip to Hawaii 

Characteristic of Jesus: Unfailing love

Personality trait of Mindy: I love Mindy's heart for other people; I love how she cares for others selflessly even if it means sacrificing her own schedule.  

the reason for the season

The biggest reason I wanted to share our Christmas card is to tell you why Christmas is so special to us.  We love the extra time spent with family and the cozy traditions in front of the fire, but the real reason we love this season is because of the miraculous birth of our savior, Jesus Christ.  Our heavenly Father found a way to heal the brokenness in our sinful world, by sending His son to enter into our world in the flesh.  And we are eternally grateful.  Putting our hope and trust in the One who sent his Son to save us changed our lives; Chris and I would not be the people we are today, had it not been for the hand of our awesome God.

Our prayer for you this holiday season is that you might be overwhelmed with joy, comforted in any sadness or grief that comes your way, and that you would fully know the unfailing, faithful love of the Lord.  

merry Christmas! 
Love, the Larsens

Waiting with Hope

Last week, I shared about how I am being extra intentional about savoring the Advent season.  I have felt the Lord pulling me to slow down and take the time to consider what He has done for us through the birth of Jesus.  As I’ve been practicing my 5 simple ways to savor Advent, I’ve found myself coming back to the same theme of waiting with hope. 

Growing up in a Lutheran church, I was familiar with the season of advent as the traditional practice of celebrating the anticipatory time leading up to Jesus’ birth, but it wasn’t until this year that I really thought about what that time of waiting on a savior must’ve been like. 

Dating back to the Old Testament, more than 700 years before Jesus was born, God promised His people that one day a savior would come to deliver them.  Isaiah 7:14 says, “Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.”  But then the promise was not fulfilled for over 700 years.

Putting myself in the shoes of the believers back in the day, I imagine how exciting this promise would’ve been.  To know that God had a specific plan to deliver His people from the brokenness and pain in their world must’ve been exhilarating.  But then I imagine the waiting process. 

Let’s be real, our culture is terrible at waiting.  We pick the shortest line at the grocery store for fear of having to wait 5 minutes to check out. Sitting in the waiting room at a doctor’s office is excruciating.  Heck, we don’t even want to wait 7 seconds for a page to load on our iPhones.  Yet God’s people had to wait 700 years for His promise to come true. 

Thinking about waiting for that long of a period makes me wonder – did they lose hope?  Did they doubt that His promise would actually come true?  Did they question God’s faithfulness? 

The holidays are characterized as a time of joy; a time when families get together, love is amplified, and the ring of hope is in the air.  But at the same time, the holidays are heavy as people who are struggling become painfully aware of what they’re missing.  The holidays are a dreaded time for singles.  Grief feels unbearable, as loved ones are no longer seated at the table.  In a time where “be merry” is stressed, pain and sadness shows its ugly head more than ever. 

I imagine that people in this heavy place of waiting for whatever it is they’re hoping for (a husband, joy, healing, friendship, a new job) struggle with the same questions.  Should I lose hope?  Is God’s promise going to come true?  Is He still faithful? 

What has struck me, above and beyond, this Advent season is this – Jesus’ birth is a concrete example of God’s faithfulness.  Yes, it may have taken 700+ painful, broken years, but He kept His promise and delivered a savior.  I’ve always been so caught up in what Jesus’ birth meant for the future, that I didn’t fully consider what it meant in regards to the past.  For the future - Jesus’ birth was God’s loving plan to save us.  For the past – Jesus’ birth was proof that God keeps His promises; that even when it’s not in our timing, He is always faithful.

When you’re right in the thick of waiting, and the struggle is crippling, I know that the thought of being hopeful feels laughable.  If you feel the need to roll your eyes as you’re reading these words because your pain is so robust, do it.  I know that the struggle truly is real.  But, I also know that if we place our hope, trust, and confidence in the God of the universe, we will not be disappointed; He will lead us out of this place, even if it’s not the way we expect.

I’m amazed (and a little perplexed) at how the Lord keeps laying this message of waiting with hope on my heart this season. It seems like everything I listen to or read somehow has this theme woven through it.  So, I'm paying attention to it. I'm thankful that the Lord has brought this new perspective to light and I'm working on building a habit of waiting with hope for whatever is to come.

One of my favorite Christmas songs, O Holy Night, proclaims the glory of Christmas in this line - “a thrill of hope the weary world rejoices for yonder breaks a new glorious morn.”  I love this line so much because it is a beautifully accurate description of what Christmas means to us.  Because of God's faithfulness through Christ's birth, no matter how weary our world is, we have hope worth celebrating.  

Whatever place of waiting you find yourself in this holiday season, my prayer is that it would be laced with hope; that Christmas would be a tangible reminder that not only did God send a savior in the flesh but that this miraculous act was a powerful affirmation that He is faithful.

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Here are a few of the places I keep hearing this message of waiting with hope.  If you’re feeling discouraged in a season of waiting, or want to dwell more on how God fulfilled the season of waiting through Jesus’ birth, check out these resources.

1. Exchange Craziness for Stillness - message by Jason Webb

In this sermon Pastor Jason parallels the in Mark 4:35-41 where the disciples are angry because Jesus is asleep on their boat while they are nearly drowning in a raging storm to the difficulty of struggling in seasons of pain or waiting feeling like Jesus is sleeping.  In this message Jason reminds us that even when it feels like Jesus is sleeping, He is aboard our boat, He knows the what is to come and He will get us there safely. 

2. Ascend: Mercy - message by Matt Erickson

In this message, Pastor Matt walks through Psalm 130 describing guilt, pointing to God’s forgiveness and then the hope that comes as a result of living guilt-free.  I was encouraged by his words about having hope in seasons of waiting and how he said, “Jesus authenticates our struggles.”

3. Advent themed Yoga - by Caroline Williams

I introduced this resource last week in my 5 simple ways to savor Advent and I cannot recommend it more highly.  I have now practiced 2 of Caroline’s Advent flows and each one walks through an aspect of this idea of waiting with hope.  It’s been so encouraging and challenging and has brought calm to my busy heart this season. 

4. Still Waiting - by Ann Swindell

This book by Ann Swindell focuses specifically on this topic of waiting on the Lord, and finding hope when He doesn't give you what you want.  You can read more of my thoughts on this book here.  Hearing this message of waiting with hope this holiday season, I kept finding myself remembering encouragement and truth that I had read in Still Waiting.  If you haven't read it yet, be sure to check it out.  

5 simple ways to savor Advent

Advent by definition means an arrival or coming. In the life of Christ followers, it’s the traditional practice of celebrating the anticipatory time leading up to Jesus’ birth. The season begins the first Sunday in December and lasts four weeks – each day meant to prepare our hearts and minds for the celebration of His arrival.  What I love about this tradition is that it draws our focus off the craziness of the holiday season (the shopping, the parties, the presents) and onto the reason for the season, His birth. 

This year, I am being extra intentional about slowing amidst the busyness to celebrate the Advent season and focus my heart on the amazing miracle of Jesus birth and the promise that He will someday come again.

 Here are 5 simple ways I’m savoring Advent.  

1. Advent Themed Holy Yoga

If you’re a fellow yogi, you need to check out Caroline Williams’ YouTube videos.  Caroline is an excellent yoga instructor, and my fave part about her, she combines it with scripture.  Technically known as a Holy Yoga instructor, practicing with Caroline is a perfecto combo of yoga and worship.  Each flow starts in a restorative position where she grounds you in the gospel and then gets you moving, beautifully weaving scripture and truth throughout the entire flow.  Every time I practice with Caroline, I walk away refreshed physically and spiritually. 

As I was digging through her video archives, I found out that she has an ADVENT themed series with flows designed for each week of advent.  I am seriously so excited to incorporate this into my rhythm this season.  Tap here to check out this week’s flow. 

2. All Good Things Collective Advent Devotional

Every day I am reading scripture and taking time to reflect on the Lord with the help of the All Good Things Collective Advent Devotional.  The theme of this year’s devotional is “Do Less.  Make it Mean More!” which is a perfect fit for how I want to focus this season.  I feel the Lord pulling me to slow down and take time to center my heart on what He did for me through the birth of his son.  “Each day contains one word associated with Advent, a Scripture, a simple reflection on that passage, and a space for you to respond and worship.” – All Good Things Collective

My goal is to read the devotional before I even climb out of bed in the morning, but we all know things don’t always go as planned.  So I am excited to have purchased the digital version of the devotional; that way I have it right on my phone to access at any time.  Snag your own copy here. 

3. Stay out of the mall

I love buying presents for my people, and I love the festive decorations and hustle and bustle, but with everyone rushing around the mall the tendency to get cranky and want to poke someone in the eye goes way up.  Plus, I don’t love being in the mall in general because oftentimes seeing all the perfectly curated mannequins drenched in trendy new threads has a perverse effect making me think everything I own sucks, and I therefore I “need” to buy all the things.  

This might seem like an odd way to savor Advent, but staying out of the mall helps me to practice contentment and keep my eyes more wholly on the celebration of Jesus’ birth, not the present-buying part of Christmas. 

4. Savor the busy moments

My goal for this Advent season is to create space to reflect on its meaning, but I’m looking at our December calendar and the empty spaces are minimal.  With in-laws in Minnesota and holiday work parties, there’s a natural busyness that can’t be avoided.  What I’ve decided to do is be extra intentional about savoring these moments instead of viewing them as obstacles keeping me from a slower pace. This slight perspective shift will help me choose joy, even in moments where things are really hectic, and focus on the blessings that accompany this season.  Yes, the rush from MN to Milwaukee on Christmas Eve day is not ideal, but the quiet moments in front of the fire watching White Christmas with my parents or playing cribbage with my in-laws make it worth it. 

5. Listen to Worshipful Christmas music

Every year before the holidays, I find myself fighting off what I call Christmas crankiness.  With the craze to find the perfect presents, mixed with a jam-packed schedule, anxiety increases and I get lost in the rush and lose sight of the joy and purpose of the season.  But what I’ve realized is that the Christmas cranks is not just a result of the busyness, it’s a direct effect of the evil one’s plot to draw my attention away from Jesus.  

When I am battling the Christmas crankiness, I am going to turn on my Spotify Playlist: Worshipful Christmas and jam out to some of my favorite tunes that point me to Christ.  Praise is an antidote to the evil one – jamming out to this list will not only pick up my mood, but will also put the evil one back in his place.

I love this playlist because it's a great mix of traditional Christmas hymns, non-traditional Christmas songs, and a few rocky ones by good ole Relient K and TobyMac.  I think you'll love it.  - Tap here to head to the playlist -

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As followers of Christ, we know that Christmas is much more than the shopping, the tree, the decorations, and the get-togethers.  It’s about celebrating and reflecting on the awe-filled night when an angel of the Lord appeared and said, “Do not be afraid, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a savior will be born to you.  He is Christ the Lord.” (Luke 2:10)   My prayer is that as you enter this holiday season, you would join me in savoring Advent.  Together let’s reflect on the anticipation of Jesus’ birth and wait fully engaged and hopefully attentive for the day He comes again. 

**Have any favorite Advent traditions you think I should try?  Leave me a comment below. **

Ask then act

I am so excited to tell you that for this week's post in the "Things we don't talk about" series, we have a guest writer here on lovemin!  Last week, I started the conversation about the very real struggle of marriage, and how if we want to excel in our relationships we have to be willing to communicate.  This week, Caleb Engel, is continuing the conversation with the valuable idea that the best place to start is to ask questions, then act.  

Caleb and Maison Engel, the stunning couple in the image above, are wedding photographers who are super passionate about marriage. Maison (who I met through Instagram) started a monthly marriage newsletter with her husband Caleb to help couples engage in conversations about money, sex, conflict, and many other marriage-related topics.  I signed up for the newsletter right away and each month I have been positively challenged by the prompts in their newsletter that promote communication.

When I was brainstorming the things we don't talk about series, I knew I wanted them to be a part of it.  I mean seriously, how often do you get to hear a male's perspective on communication?  Thank you Caleb, for sharing this with us.  

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Wouldn't it be nice if your spouse could read your mind? 

Like if they brought home your favorite bottle of wine after work, just because? Or left you a voicemail simply to let you know they were thinking about you? Something small that could turn your whole week around.

We all know that when this happens, it makes us feel really cared for. But we also know that sometimes it can be difficult to know what your spouse needs in a given week. Like maybe you vacuumed the whole house ... but what they really wanted was for you to simply drop everything as soon as they got home and greet them with a hug (that lasted a little longer than normal).

This is why we shouldn't rely on mind reading.

One of the hardest things we face in our marriage is the ambiguity behind asking for what our spouse needs. We often find ourselves thinking, "If I have to ask Caleb/Maison what I could do to make him/her feel loved this week, then it won't be as special."  It won’t feel romantic or spontaneous which means that the spark is gone, right? We find ourselves believing we aren't cherished or known.  But the opposite has actually proven itself to be true and has even made spontaneous moments feel that much more special!  The best place to start is to simply ask ... and then act ... and then ask again. 

I’ve often asked Maison, “What can I do to make you feel loved?” She has told me things like, “Write me a love note, verbalize your feelings more (I am not the best at this!), etc.” When she directly tells me these things, I now know, for example, that writing her a little love note would make her feel special and I can easily execute this in our marriage! I also know that if you were to ask Maison if she felt less loved getting a note from me because we had previously had this conversation, she would say, “No way!” I asked, she told me, and she still feels loved.

So, what does this mean on a day-to-day basis?

Below, we have two questions from our monthly marriage newsletter to prompt some discussion about the things that your spouse has already done to make you feel special and the things they could start doing! You know what they say, practice makes perfect.

1. What is one SMALL thing I've done in the past six months that made you feel loved/special? What about it made you feel that way?
2. What is one thing I can do this week to make you feel loved/special?

** A Note about Question #2: Remember to show grace to each other when making tangible commitments. If your spouse isn’t following through on your answer to Question #2, it’s likely because they have forgotten (new habits are hard to form and, well, life happens! We’re all guilty of this!). If you’re looking for a good way to remember to take action, try setting your spouse’s answer as a reminder on your phone with a due date by the end of the week!

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The marriage newsletter

Each month Maison & Caleb send out a newsletter to help couples engage in conversations about money, sex, conflict... and everything else married couples deal with.

I signed up when Maison shared about the newsletter over on her Instagram, and I am SO glad that I did.  The prompts within the newsletter, much like the ones above, are great conversation starters that have been helpful tools for fostering better communication in our marriage AND in my friendships.  (My hubby even signed up too!)

Want to sign up?  Tap the button below.

images via Maison Meredith

This post is a part of my series called "Things we don't talk about"

To catch up on the rest of the series, tap the links below

When you don't want to talk to your spouse

This past summer, my husband and I renovated our guest bedroom.  The lead paint chips were removed, the walls were sanded, primed and painted.  All that was left were finishing touches- a new duvet, pillows, lamp for the nightstand, and sheets.  Sheets…  One would think that sheets might be the least problematic part of a renovation, but the mere utterance of the word still makes me cringe a little.  On one particularly warm summer night, sheets were less like fabric and more like a curse word that transformed a sweet date night into a yelling match and slamming doors. 

The beginning of the night was date night perfection; Chris, and I sipped wine on the patio of our go-to Italian restaurant, Il Mito, shared kisses in between bites of spaghetti bolognese and topped off our meal with my fave dessert, crème brulée.  Hand-in-hand we walked home, eager to snuggle on the couch and catch up on Netflix.  But first, (for whatever reason) I wanted to show him the new sheets I bought to complete our guest bedroom.

I stripped the bed, pulled out the brand new charcoal grey sheets and stretched the fitted sheet across the mattress.  Fluffing the top sheet like a parachute, I tucked in the corners and smoothed out all the ripples.  “Chris!” I called out, “Come check out our new sheets!”  I ran my hands across the sheets, excited that this last piece was done.  These were perfect.  But wait, why do these feel scratchy all of a sudden? At the store they felt satiny and smooth; why do they now feel like sandpaper?  I glared at Chris desperately hopeful that I was wrong, and he said, “Hmm… these are scratchy.” 

Like a light switch, my mood instantly flipped.  I ripped the new sheets off the bed and threw them in a heap on the floor.  Stomping around the room, I attempted to put the old sheets back on, only to knock the bed off its risers, nearly smashing my toes.  In an effort to diffuse the situation Chris said, “Babe.  It’s okay.  I know it’s frustrating that the sheets are not what you expected, but we can just return them.”  When he said those words, I flashed to an episode of Friends, where Ross, one of the main characters, finds out that someone stole his favorite, left-over Thanksgiving turkey sandwich from the refrigerator at work.  Enraged, his eyes bulge and he yells,  “MY SANDWICH!? MYYYY SANDWICH?!?!” In that instant, I transformed into irate Ross.  Furious and irrational I cried, "We can just return them?! WE CAN JUST RETURN THEM?!"

After shouting back and forth for fifteen solid minutes, I pounded my way upstairs, slammed the bedroom door and flung myself on the bed.  Truth is, this wasn’t about the sheets.  It was about the fact that, in this season, our marriage felt a lot less like play and a ton more like work. 

Before we got married, people warned us, “Marriage is amazing, but it is HARD."  I believed them, but it wasn’t until year 6 that I experienced the truth of that statement.  Let’s not kid ourselves, Chris and I have had plenty of difficulties and arguments in the years prior, but it wasn’t until year 6 where way more often than I’d like to admit, I thought, holy cats, I really want to poke him right in the eye and I won’t even feel bad about it.  For who knows what reason, this year, we were seemingly never on the same page.  Dinnertime constantly felt like punishment as we battled our way through heavy conversations about how I was frustrated, feeling neglected or misunderstood, and how he felt like he was trying his hardest, but it still wasn’t enough for me.

On this dreadful date night caused by scratchy sheets, I was defeated and I didn’t want to talk anymore.  I wanted to fall asleep and wake up in a place where we wanted to kiss more than we wanted to rip each other’s heads off.   The problem is, more talking is exactly what we needed.

After 6 years of marriage, I fell into the habit of thinking, he should know this already.  I shouldn’t have to communicate how I feel, HE SHOULD JUST KNOW.  But here’s the thing – it is wholly unrealistic for us to assume that our significant other can know how we feel 100% of the time. 

The reason I turned into an angry person when Chris recommended we return the sheets was, I felt like a failure.  In this season, every project I was working on was far from completion so when a simple task of buying sheets also fell through, I lost it.  But my poor innocent husband had no idea because I hadn’t told him how I was feeling.  If I had simply expressed my emotion saying, “Ugh.  This makes me so frustrated because it feels like everything I am working on is incomplete…” we could have completely avoided the blowout.

I truly wish Chris could know what I am feeling all the time.  But since he's not a mind reader, I have to keep telling him.  When people say communication is the key to a happy relationship, after 6 years of marriage, I can absolutely attest to that being true.  If we want to excel in our relationships we have to be willing to communicate.

When we were stuck in this season of heavy conversations, we developed three habits that were extremely beneficial in our communication game.  And I want to pass them on to you.

1.    Know your feelings.

If we want to be able to communicate how we’re feeling, it’s crucial that we know how we’re feeling.  This was a big one for Chris – working a busy job he recognized that the time he gave himself to reflect on how he was feeling was minimal.  Taking action on this step was impactful. 

Tip: Take the time to reflect and assess.  How am I feeling about our relationship? How am I feeling in general? Ask yourself, why am I upset?  Is it something he/she said or is it the way it was said?  What would be helpful for me when I’m upset? And so on.  The better we know ourselves, the better we can communicate what we need.

2.    Stop assuming.

It’s easy to assume we understand what our significant other is saying, but a lot of times we’re actually wrong.  I’m guilty of this quite often.  Chris might say something like, “Oh man, the floor is dusty.” And I immediately take that to mean, “He's saying I’m a bad wife because I don’t clean enough.”

Tip: After listening to what your significant other has to say, repeat back to them what you heard starting with,  “So, what I hear you saying is….” Then go on to describe what you heard them say.  A lot of times it’s a revealing exercise that enables you to make sure you're both understanding what is being communicated.  Taking turns doing this exercise is really valuable.

3.    COMMUNICATE.  Share your feelings and ASK your spouse to do the same.   

This last one is plain and simple- talk to your significant other.  After you take the time to self-reflect and know how you’re feeling, share with your spouse.  And then when you're done, ASK them to share where they're at.

Tip: Communication is not just for the bad days – it's important to practice sharing and asking every day.  Tell your significant other about your day, include the seemingly small emotional moments.  Ask how your spouse’s day was, listen intentionally, and then dig deeper - ask if they are feeling encouraged or frustrated, and how you can help.

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These tips sound so simple, and they are, but they are also extremely beneficial.  This summer was not an easy one for our marriage; it was draining.  But now that we’re out of the woods, I can honestly say that having to work extra hard on communication produced a stronger, more efficient marriage. 

You know what else helped? Being honest with my support network that we were in a heavy place.  I don't know why the truth that marriage is often a struggle is another one of the "things we don't talk about."  Maybe we're afraid people will judge us for admitting we want to poke our significant other in the eye more often than not, or maybe we're afraid people will assume the worst thinking divorce is on the table - I don't know.  But, I want to break the barrier and start encouraging each other in the beautiful struggle that is marriage.  

If you're not married, let me encourage you that this post is for you too; because let’s be honest – relationships, in all shapes and sizes, are exhausting at one point or another.  Whether you're tired of the struggle with your friend, your significant other, your mom, or your spouse, let me assure you, working on your communication game will be worth it. 

In our friendships, families, and marriages let's be people who over communicate and do our best to lace every word with love.  It will not go unwarranted.  

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This post is part of my series titled "Things we don't talk about"

To catch up on the rest of the series, tap the links below

What if I don't want to have kids?

July 6th was by far my favorite day of summer.  My parents, my sister and I, along with our husbands were all up north for the week of the 4th of July; the sky was blue, the sun was out, and the temperature hovered at a perfect 84 degrees.  Expecting storms and a day trapped inside, we threw on our swimsuits and scrambled to the pier as quickly as possible.  With our original rainy-day plans dashed, every moment that followed was completely unplanned; what evolved was an epic, spontaneous day dripping with joy.

We water-skied, drank mojitos at the Harbor Bar (our fave restaurant right on the water), and boated to a sandbar where we danced, played, and laughed.  I could go on and continue to list each bit of fun that we endured, but allow me to fast forward and say, we played so hard, we didn’t eat dinner until 10pm.  Like 6 high schoolers buzzing with energy, we jammed into my husband’s pick-up truck to find dessert and laughed the entire way.  This moment, with 4 grown adults squished in the backseat, was so gut wrenchingly precious, that it hurt a little bit.  It was one of those moments that is so good you want to re-live it right away; one you know can never be topped. 

And in that moment, this thought shot through my mind like an arrow, “What if I don’t want to have kids?”

I’ve always imagined being a mother; I pictured us being a family of four with two littles, at least one child being a girl.  But in this moment – all I could think of was this: BABIES CHANGE EVERYTHING.  I can’t be spontaneous.  My family dynamic of the six of us will be drastically different.  I won’t be able to run around on my own schedule.  I like being a kid.  We most definitely wouldn’t be able to repeat our epic day on the lake! This parade of thoughts obnoxiously marching their way through my mind left me panicking, “Seriously… what if I don’t want kids?”

As soon as I admitted to myself that I had just asked that question, shame poured in.  Who in the world asks this question?  “Everyone” wants kids – how could I not want kids?  What if I figure out that this really is in fact how I feel and not just a fear of change?  Is something wrong with me? 

Addressing this question made me realize how much pressure we face as women.  In my world, 95% of my friends are either pregnant right now, just birthed a child, or are planning to get pregnant in the next 6 months.  I’m constantly asked “so… when are you guys thinking of starting a family?” And as innocent as the question may be, right now, it often feels like a side-eye, judgment-filled question.  With seemingly everyone heading in this direction, I’ve been struggling with feeling isolated, insignificant, and alone.

Wrestling with all of this over the past couple months has been an emotional rollercoaster to say the least, but in it I’ve come to terms with 3 things:

1. I do not have to be a mom to be significant

With every pregnancy announcement and every “why aren’t you guys having kids yet” question, there’s this odd lie that tells me if I’m not a mom or about to be a mom, I am insignificant; that my role in this world doesn’t matter as much as so-and-so’s because I am not taking on this incredibly beautiful role of mother.  This lie is brutal – it chips away at my identity and makes me feel small and insignificant. But friends, IT IS NOT TRUE. Kids or no kids, I am significant – my life matters, what I am doing matters because I am a precious daughter of the King.

Zephaniah 3:17 says, “The Lord your God… will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” It doesn’t say, He takes delight in you when you’re finally a mom, it simply says, He will take great delight in you.  As you are, He will rejoice over you with singing. 

Maybe you can’t quite relate to the motherhood pressure - maybe for you it’s the pressure to start dating, or get engaged, or get married; and the constant question “are you seeing anyone?” makes you feel insignificant.  Or maybe it’s something different altogether.  Whatever it is that makes you feel less than, let me step in, stare you in the face and proclaim - you are significant right as you are.  Kids or no kids, married or single, job or no job - your life matters, what you are doing matters.  You are a precious child of the King.

2.    We need to start supporting each other. 

If I’m struggling with feelings of shame admitting that I even thought the question, “What if I don’t want to have kids?” I can only imagine how isolated women who have chosen not to have kids for one reason or another might feel – and that breaks my heart. Our identity as a woman is not based on our decision to mother children.  And we need to stop treating each other like it does. 

Our heavenly Father’s love for us is not an if-then statement.  Nowhere in scripture does it say if you have kids then He will love you more.  And nowhere does it say you must have children. The Lord loves us no matter what.  And as followers of Christ it is our job to love others in this same manner.

The single most encouraging thing during this season has been talking with friends and family (and an amazing husband) who sincerely listen and ask me how I’m doing.  On one particularly difficult day, I cried out to my best friend from beneath the lie of insignificance. After hearing me out, and asking genuine questions about how I was feeling she spoke much-needed truth into my heart.  Even though she couldn’t fully understand where I was, as she herself is expecting, she validated my feelings and with tender, strong words gave me the courage to own this season.  She supported me in the best way possible.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up.”  Even if we don’t understand each other’s decisions, it is our calling to encourage one another.  That applies in my situation, in the icky mom shaming “you should be breastfeeding” pressures, and any other scenarios like this where we are tempted to imply our own opinions on others. 

3.    I don’t know if we’re going to have kids – and that is okay

I don’t know what the Lord has in store for our family, but I do confidently know that the Lord is telling me not yet.  This may just be for a season, another year, or maybe it’s in His plan that our family simply consists of Chris and I, I don’t know. But until the Lord communicates that it’s time to join the masses and make a baby, we’re going to stay in the camp of we’re not having kids right now – and that’s okay. 

It’s taken me a long time to own this answer to the question “What if I don’t want to have kids?” but I think I am finally okay.  I know there will be emotional ups and downs, and that my opinion might soon change.  But I’m confident in the Lord and his direction, and I truly trust that He will make it clear in His timing.  We’ll just have to wait and see. 

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This is not an easy subject to write about.  But I’m hopeful that by opening this conversation we can talk more about this question together, and do a better job of encouraging and supporting each other no matter what. 

My ultimate hope for this series, things we don’t talk about, is to start conversations.  So, if you can relate to this topic – I would love to hear from you in the comments below or via email on my contact page. 

-       If you're a mama - did you experience these feelings pre-babies?

-       If you're not a mama – what runs through your mind when you think about motherhood?  Can you relate?

-       If you’re single – can you resonate with this feeling of pressure?

No matter where you are – cling to these truths.  You are not alone; you are significant; you are wholly, and completely loved by a God who loves you exactly as you are. 

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This post is a part of my series titled "Things we don't talk about"

To catch up on the rest of the series, tap the links below

Things we don't talk about

A friend recently asked me, “how would you describe this last year?”  After pondering for a moment I responded with the ever-so-technical, not-really-a-word “struggley.”  2017 has been a wonderful year, I’ve seen the Lord’s good work and guidance in so many ways, but it’s also been a year of struggle. 

Amidst all the good, my heart has been heavy as I’ve wrestled with thoughts about motherhood, a strained season of marriage, and friendships that have withered away.  And the hardest part of it all, I felt like I was dealing with it alone.  All of these subjects, these struggles I’m working through, are things we don’t talk about. 

No one mentions their difficulties in marriage because we don’t want people to think we’re a mess or assume the worst.  I rarely hear women talk about their fears about becoming a mom or admit they don’t want to have kids.  No one wants to disclose that friends have cut them out of their life for no reason.  And what about sex, sure media and all things commercial talk about it because “sex sells” but how often do you hear people share about the struggles relating to sex in marriage?

When no one talks about these things, it is easy to feel isolated, like you’re the only one who could possibly be dealing with these issues.  But this is not true. And that is why I'm writing this series.  My ultimate hope is that these posts would help us start conversations about these untouched topics and encourage each other that we are not alone.

For the next month, I am writing about these things we don’t talk about.

1. What if I don’t want to have kids?

2. Marriage: when you don’t want to talk

3. What to Do when Friendships Fail

4. 5 Reasons Saving Sex for Marriage is Worth it

I am really excited about this series (and guest writer I have lined up!) and cannot wait to release my first post about motherhood tomorrow.  To kick off the series with a bang, I'm giving away a copy of Still Waiting by Ann Swindell.  And I'd love for you to enter!  Head over to my latest post on Instagram to find out how. 

Not sure what Still Waiting is about - tap here to read my review.  It's a book that was extremely encouraging in this season of life and I know it will bless you too.  

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Want to make sure you don’t miss a post in the series? 
Scroll to the bottom of the page and sign up for my email list.

image by Oak and Oats

Goals don't need to be perfect - why I love Powersheets

I have a love-hate relationship with goals.  I love the idea of recognizing areas that need growth and making actionable steps.  And I especially love the empowering satisfaction of being able to strike a line through a goal when it’s accomplished.  But, I hate the process of setting goals.  Maybe our Pinterest/Instagram saturated culture is to blame, but I feel like traditional goal setting requires perfect goals; ones that don’t just contain inspiring aspirations but are also written in beautiful calligraphy on an effortlessly styled, crisp, clean planner.

Last year I decided to try a new way of setting goals.  I had seen a lot of posts about an intentional goal planner called Powersheets, and everyone who talked about it, raved about it.  I wasn’t quite sure how it’d be different than any other planner I tried, but I decided to give it a whirl.  I am so glad that I did because founder, Lara Casey and the words inside Powersheets changed my perspective. 

I used to think that setting goals was limiting, that I had to pick an Instagram- worthy objective, and stick with it or I’d be a failure.  But Powersheets has taught me that goals don’t have to be concrete or perfect to be effective.  In fact, I’m now a firm believer that goals are much more valuable when they’re revisited, adjusted, and sometimes altogether thrown out.

What this planner does differently is constantly remind that the process of setting goals is about progress, not perfection.  

“Imperfect, messy, undone, meaningful, bold, powerful, leap-of-faith-filled, intentional, PROGRESS, NOT PERFECTION.”

“You have permission to change your mind! You can update your goals as you go, change course, or make completely different goals along the process.”

 “And remember: your words don’t have to be perfect.”

These words, scattered throughout the planner are what brought freedom to my goal planning - Goals don’t have to be perfect; goals can be messy.  Now that is something I can get behind!  And this year was the perfect example of why.

2017 has been my year of unmet expectations.  Most of the goals I set at the beginning of the year have yet to be finished (or even started).   I’ve struggled with disappointment and been really tempted to throw in the towel, to be sassy and say “fine – I guess that goal isn’t happening so forget it; I give up.”  But honestly, the encouraging words in Powersheets and the permission and space to re-define my objectives gave me freedom to say, “So what if I haven’t started writing my book yet? Just because my timeline may have changed, doesn’t mean I am a failure.  It just means I need to go back to the drawing board, check-in with the Lord, and re-adjust my goal. And that is okay.”

“You can’t do it ALL and do life well.  But you can choose to cultivate what matters.  And that means letting go at times and making a mess.”

This quote by Lara Casey beautifully encompasses what makes Powersheets so powerful; the freedom to make a mess and the reminder to cultivate what matters. This is not your average fill-in-the-blank checklist type of planner; with words like these and pages that prompt you to cultivate gratitude and let go of mental clutter, Powersheets gently presses you to take steps towards what matters.  My ultimate goal is to be faithful and obedient to Jesus – any other goal is secondary.  Having this visible, monthly reminder to keep my focus on what truly matters helps put everything else in perspective. 

The reason I am sharing all things Powersheets with you is because this is a product I truly believe in.  I am not an affiliate, I am not receiving anything for sharing my love for this planner – I just want to give you the opportunity to use a tool that has been really beneficial and effective in my life.  And guess what? Powersheets 2018 comes out October 25th.  

If this sounds awesome to you, here's what you should do:

• Head to cultivatewhatmatters.com and sign up for their Powersheets email list.  (Here's one thing to know - once they run out of the one-year planners, which they do quite quickly, that's it. So you want to make sure to be on their email list and get ready to order. You won't want to miss it.)
•  Follow @cultivatewhatmatters and @laracasey on Instagram - they share all sorts of sneak peeks and snippets about how to use Powersheets. It's incredibly helpful!
• Visit laracasey.com/blog to see examples of how founder, Lara Casey uses Powersheets.  Seeing the types of goals she set and how she uses the planner inspired me in my own use.  

Want to learn more?

Today I’m teaming up with two fellow bloggers who are sharing why they love Powersheets.
Head over to their blogs to find out more.  

• Lauren Anderson - a blogger who documents the journey with her husband to build a rustic modern farmhouse build, is sharing about how Powersheets helped her recognize that what she needed in life wasn't a longer list of to-do's but instead, an actionable plan to allow her to simplify. 
• Tomissa Porath – fellow writer and Ripon alumni (woot!) is sharing about how Powersheets allow her to make progress on large goals by making small changes every day. 

Embracing Solitude

A month ago I made the familiar trek to our family lake house in Waupaca, Wisconsin.  After 2 short hours in the car, I opened up the heavy, tan curtains to see the sunshine forming a glistening, magical path across the lake.  Watching the wind press ripples to the shore, my home away from home was as beautiful as it always was; but this time it felt different.  I was completely alone.

I had been brainstorming a solo, writing retreat for quite awhile. And this particular week, Chris was traveling for work and my calendar was completely empty; the timing was perfect.  I was so excited to get away for a refreshing time at the lake.  But a measly few minutes upon arrival, a small, scared part of me shouted, “Mindy, what were you thinking?”

Right now, I’m in a season where I feel like a pedestrian standing in the middle of traffic as the world races on.  Everyone is moving forward, building families, starting new adventures, and here I am standing still.  There’s nothing wrong with standing still – goodness and growth is still evident, but I feel alone. 

In this moment, staring over the lake, I shook my head at myself. Being alone at the cabin, a place that is typically teeming with chatter, laughter and all things go-go-go, felt terribly weird.  The empty chairs and the deafening silence were overwhelming.  I was uncomfortable. It was tempting to pack my bags into the car and drive home right away, but I felt like the Lord led me here to spend this time alone, and I wanted to press into that – to see what He might say as I sat in the silence.

Tucking myself into the corner of the pontoon boat seat, I cracked open Present over Perfect, a book by Shauna Niequist.  I’ve been slowly reading my way through its pages, and the chapter I read that day was perfectly timed, as if it was written specifically for me on this uncomfortable day.  

“ I’ve sensed that there are some seasons in which the only way through is alone, a solitary path of listening and learning… When you arrive on the other side, the people you love most will be there to meet you, certainly, to wrap their arms around you and walk closely with you once again.  But it’s only when we’re truly alone that we can listen to our lives and God’s voice speaking out from the silence.” 

With wide eyes, I uttered a shocked, low, “whoa.” Through Shauna’s words, I felt the Lord saying to me, “Yes. You are in a season of being more alone.  But, that is okay!  Right now, you are okay.  Embrace this season; it will be fruitful.”  Looking back, I think God pressed me to go up north by myself so that I could stare my aloneness right in the face, realize I am okay, and change my perspective.  Instead of viewing this season as this icky, uncomfortable thing, I'm working on welcoming the opportunity to listen for the Lord's voice and to listen for my own too.  In fact, I've found a new tenderness, a new craving for spending time alone.  I even ran up north for a second solo trek a few weeks later and I was not uncomfortable at all – I was relaxed and so full of joy. 

Shauna continues the chapter saying, “These last months have required more silence than any other season in my life.  I’ve both craved it and avoided it, in equal turns, and finally realized that the craving is something to listen to, something to obey.”   I think that's the kind of season I am in too; one that for whatever reason requires more silence, and I want to lean into that.  I don't want to run or hide from it - I want to listen to the cravings, embrace the solitude and listen to what the Lord has for me.  

If you’re like me, in a place where you feel like the Lord is drawing you away from the noise and into solitude, please let me encourage you to step into it with me.  I know this post has been heavy with quotes from Present over Perfect, but allow me to end by sharing a few more words that spoke courage into my shaky heart, in hopes that they might propel you, too.  

“In seasons of deep transformation, silence will be your greatest guide.  Even if it’s scary, especially if it’s scary, let silence be your anchor, your sacred space, your dwelling place.  It’s where you will become used to your own voice, your agency, your authority.  It’s where you will nurture that fledgling sense of authority, like a newborn deer on spindly legs.  Silence will become the incubator for your newfound spirit, keeping it safe, growing it steadily.”
– Shauna Niequist, Present over Perfect

Experiencing the Power of Scripture

I was in junior high when I first experienced the power of Scripture; from that day on, I have never doubted that God's word is living and active.  Here's what happened.

We finally arrived at Crown College in St. Bonifacius, Minnesota where we had driven 6 long hours crammed in a rickety, old church van.  Four middle school girls climbed onto one skinny, twin-long college dorm room bed, settling in for the first night of our junior high retreat weekend. We chatted nervously and excitedly as we imagined the fun we were going to have over the next few days.

The four of us, three who knew each other and one new but quickly welcomed face, weren’t your average middle school girls.  We were seasoned believers, having grown up learning about Jesus.  We enjoyed having deep conversations during our bible studies; our desire for understanding the word of God ran deep.

With our backs against the wall and legs converging in the center of the tiny bed, we spoke in whispers as we’d already been given the warning for lights out.  Our soft chatter bobbed seamlessly from one topic to the next; we talked about cute boys on the trip, declared our hopes and excitements for the weekend, and then, somehow, made our way to scarier things in our world like the devil and his sneaky ways. Suddenly, the weight of fear descended on us like a heavy fog.  None of us were strangers to fear, but this felt different.  We pulled the blanket up over our knees, scooted a little closer to each other and became very aware of how dark it was in the room. 

As we clung to each other, too spooked to get up and turn on another light, I unexpectedly recalled that one of our leaders challenged us to read Psalm 139 sometime during the weekend. Quickly, I said, “I don’t know why, but I think we should read Psalm 139 right now.” 

Anxious to do anything to draw our attention away from fear, we scrambled for our Bibles and read the words of Psalm 139 out loud.  “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.”  Taking turns, we came to verses 11-12 that say, “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” (NIV) 

After reading these verses we paused, looked at each other with wide eyes, and one of us said what we were all thinking – “You guys, I feel like the darkness we felt disappeared as soon as we read those words…” Completely astonished, we agreed that we weren't afraid anymore; our fear instantly dissipated.

For the first time in all of our lives, the Word of God jumped off the pages and came alive in our midst. It was hard to wrap our minds around the fact that not only had He given our retreat leader the inkling to tell us to read Psalm 139, but He also laid it on my heart in the exact moment that we needed to experience the truth of verses 11 and 12.  We were meant to read those verses – through His word, the Lord spoke truth over our tiny college dorm room.

This experience in St. Bonifacius, Minnesota showed me that God’s word truly is living and active. It taught me that these aren’t just words on a page; they’re words that are able to impact us every time we read them.  

Whenever I open my Bible, I want to read with expectancy and trust that He will speak. I want to remember that every letter, every syllable, every pause of punctuation in His word is God-breathed. Every single word has power. 

- print in the image by Ruth Chou Simons -

Top 5 moments of Summer 2017

“A content life happens when we cultivate gratitude.” – Powersheets

I cannot believe that it is September or that the weather is feeling so much like fall that I am sitting at my desk in fuzzy socks, sweatpants, and my robe to keep me cozy.  This summer season flew by quicker than any other and I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that it has come and gone.  But, as I face the facts and slowly embrace the fall season that is rapidly appearing I want to take a hot minute to look back over summer and all of its glory.  

With help from my intentional goal planner, Powersheets, I’ve found great value in taking time to look back and appreciate what happened each month before jumping into what the next season offers.  Not only does it allow me to revisit pleasant memories of the past few months, it also gives me an opportunity to recognize areas of growth.  So, as I’m looking back at summer and what the Lord taught me, I wanted to share my top 5 moments with you. 

1. 4th of July week in Waupaca

We spent an entire week at our family lake house in Waupaca, Wisconsin with my family (mom, dad, sis, her hubby, my hubby and I) and it was glorious.  It was jam-packed with fun in the sun, ice cream, jumping in the lake, boating to the harbor bar (our fave restaurant on the lake), swimming, and skiing.  This week is especially memorable because it was the first time I felt the beautiful dynamic of the 6 of us.  My sis and her husband got married just under a year ago and this was the first time all of us spent an extended amount of time together as a group; it was really special and an absolute blast.

2. Camping in our new truck tent

Growing up with a family lake house, we didn’t camp much.  In fact, the extent of “camping” was pitching a tent in our backyard only to run into the house in the middle of the night because I got spooked.  But this year, that changed. Instead of using a friend’s tent for our annual friend camping trip, we decided to bite the bullet and buy a tent! So we got an epic tent that sets up right in the back of our truck bed.  Throw in an air mattress, and string lights and we were glamping.  It was cozy, comfy and we can’t wait to use it again!  Watch out world, we’re campers now. 

3. Girls’ trip with my college roomies

The older I get, the more thankful I am for friendships that stand the test of time.  That is definitely the case with my college roomies, Trina and Alysha.  Our friendship was born as freshman college roommates and has endured many crazy nights in college, a bit of drama (naturally), ups and downs and has now evolved into the sweetest of friendships.  We have been through a lot together and taking this first girls’ trip and adding a new member (Alysha’s little peanut, Skylar) to the clan only affirmed how thankful I am for them.  This is a tradition I am looking forward to repeating. 

4. Bike extravaganza - Tosa to MKE

One hot, spontaneous Saturday in July, seven of my fave people pedaled our bikes along the Hank Aaron trail from Wauwatosa to the lakefront in Milwaukee.  Weaving our way through the Air Show crowds, we parked ourselves on McKinley beach and watched the Navy Blue Angels shoot across the sky.  Once the show was over, our return trip was more like a little bar crawl; we stopped at the Irish Pub, City Lights Brewing Company, and finished with a glass of wine at Ruby Tap in Wauwatosa.  It was such a fun way to see our city, enjoy the beautiful weather, and get a little exercise in too.  I’ve underestimated how bike-able Milwaukee is and will most definitely be incorporating more of these treks next summer.

5. Alone at the lake

This summer has been a bit of a struggle emotionally for me, and I have found so much comfort and solace in time spent alone at the lake.  Whether it be sitting at the lakefront in Milwaukee or venturing up to Waupaca for my first ever solo visit (stay tuned for more on this one in a future post), the Lord has spoken much needed words of affirmation and encouragement when I’ve taken time to be alone.  Looking forward into fall, this is a discipline I want to continue. 

If this isn’t an exercise you’re used to doing, take a minute, scroll through your camera roll and revisit the joys (and struggles) of the last few months.  As you look back, I’m curious - what would you choose as your top 5 moments of the summer?

Celebration and sadness can co-exist

There’s a common thread weaving its way through the fabric of my community; that is this question, how can we celebrate and be sad in one breath?  How can we rejoice over a new relationship when we know its mere existence presses into the wounded heart of a single friend?  How can we be excited about a positive pregnancy test in the presence of a friend who lost her baby at 9 weeks?  How can we be wrecked by news of the hateful behavior in Charlottesville and still praise God for the beauty we see in our neighborhood?

When I got engaged, my sweet sister, 2 years my elder, was not married or even dating at the time. As excited as she was for me, my engagement was a painful period for her because her desire to be married ran deep.  And thus, it was difficult for me too. It was tempting to hide my excitement around her to protect her wounded heart but at the same time I knew that wasn’t fair to me either; balancing my joy about being a fiancée with sensitivity about her sadness was like walking a tight rope.

We tend to believe that we shouldn’t express joy in the midst of someone else’s sadness for fear that they might feel neglected. But what I’ve learned is, celebration and sadness can co-exist. In fact, as believers, it’s something we have to practice every single day.

When Jesus rose from the dead, He conquered death and defeated the evil one.  But, until He comes for a second time, the reality is that evil still exists in our world today.   In John 16:33, Jesus says, “…In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Jesus acknowledges that in our world there is going to be trouble. He does not neglect the fact that it will be hard, there will be hatred, brokenness and death.  BUT, in the same breath He gives us hope saying – take heart! I have overcome the world.  As we wait for Jesus to come again, we have the incredible responsibility of seeing the ick that goes on in our world and feeling sadness, and yet at the same time, proclaiming the celebration that Christ has the victory. 

Last week, people flocked from all over the world to parts of the United States where they could view the epic, natural phenomenon where the moon blocked the sun in totality.  As soon as the moon crossed in front of the sun, the world below was blanketed in darkness; eclipse goers went wild as nighttime arrived in the middle of the day.  Animals went into their holes, cicadas chirped as if night.  But here’s what got me- even though the moon completely blocked the sun, its light could not be contained; blasting around the edges of the moon, the corona, the sun's wispy outer atmosphere formed an ethereal ring in the darkness.  I can’t get over this image (huge props to my Uncle for capturing it) because it so beautifully represents life with Jesus.  No matter how dark our world gets, or how heavy our circumstances, because of His victory on the cross, there will always be light.

Friends, this is tender territory.  I wish I had the magical answer of how to navigate spaces, like those I posed earlier, where utter joy and complete destruction exist synonymously.  But, no matter how hard it is, I believe that celebration and sadness must coexist - that we must acknowledge the good and the bad in the same breath and here’s why:

One – We need to support each other despite our differences.  It was really hard to be excited about my engagement when I knew it hurt my sister’s heart, but I knew that shielding her from my excitement wasn’t going to help her (or me).  By acknowledging our emotions and being honest with each other, we met in the middle – we supported one another regardless of contrasting emotional states and our bond grew deeper because of it. 

Two – It gives us the opportunity to proclaim the name of Jesus. As followers of Christ, we need to be the ring of light in the solar eclipse – when the rest of the world is burdened with darkness we need to proclaim His victory over the evil one. 

Three – It prepares us for our darkest hours when we desperately need to remember that even when the worst happens, God is still good.   We can build up our habitual muscles so that if/when the seemingly worst happens our first reaction is to remember that God is still good, that Christ still has the victory. 

This is something that I am currently wrestling with; and I’d love to know if you are too.  Have any tips or just want to say “me too!” leave me a note in the comments below. 

**This epic photo was taken by my Uncle Tom - thank you Uncle Tom for sharing this experience with me, and allowing me to share the beauty you captured!**

Dependent on Others

This summer has been an odd one for me for two reasons:

1 – the Lord told me to use this summer to focus less on striving and more on seeking Him; to simply enjoy the life He’s given me

2 – I recognized how dependent my life is on my community

Six years ago, I changed my job title from college ministry assistant to housewife. It was a job title I was most definitely not expecting and did not feel prepared for. Staying home and supporting my husband by taking care of the laundry, dry cleaning, grocery shopping, etc wasn’t a position I saw myself holding at the young age of 25-years-old.  But with a husband who works 65+ hours on a slow week, it became clear that this was the best decision for our marriage. If I wanted to see my husband, to be available, and ready to spend time together in the later hours of the evening when he got home, not working was best way to make that happen. 

I’d be lying if I said that adjusting to this role was easy.  I often found myself getting defensive when people looked surprised that I was not working, without having kids at home.  A lot of times I still feel misunderstood.  But the more time I spend in this role, and in this non-conventional work life with my hubby, I’ve realized that the Lord carved out this place for me. 

When I was little, and people asked what I wanted to do when I grew up, my most consistent response was, “I want to help people.”  I didn’t have a particular method in mind, I just knew that I wanted to help people.  Fast forward to today, being financially supported by my sweet husband, I am given the unique opportunity to be flexible with my time; making me available to help. Right away, I loved this blessing of being unemployed.  I could run over to my sister’s classroom to help with chaotic kiddos, or have coffee with a friend struggling with the fog of depression.  But what I discovered this summer in particular, is that God didn’t just bless me with the ability to be available, He blessed me with an availability that fits perfectly with the community He has given me. 

Someone recently said to me, “I’m just realizing how many of your friends are teachers.”  I laughed, affirmed her observation and in that instant, I realized how beautifully God orchestrated my availability for my community.  Having free summers is the perfect example; it's an opportunity to connect at greater length with my friends comprised largely of teachers. (It’s no wonder summers feel a bit crazy; that’s when a lot of my people are free!)  

The reason I share this with you is, on one hand a bit selfish.  A lot of times I feel misunderstood.  I feel like people look at my freer schedule, or the fact that I’m at the lake with a few friends again, with confusion or judgment.  Perhaps it’s all in my head, but it’s hard not to feel like people look at me like a free-loader who does nothing but gallivant with friends.  But I hope that sharing a bigger picture of who I am and the position the Lord has me in, I can be more understood.  Being unemployed, I still struggle with feeling like my role is insignificant when compared to the rest of the world – so sharing this with you is a way of holding myself accountable and working to combat those lies.  At this point in my life, I am able to adjust my schedule not based on what I need, but on what my community (my husband, my friends, my family) needs. Living this way, is a huge blessing, and an incredible opportunity that I want to take really seriously. God has me in this place for a reason, and I am determined to own that. 

The second reason I share this is to encourage you that if you are struggling with feeling insignificant or simply being content with where the Lord has you, you are not alone.  Take a minute today, do some self-reflecting and ask the Lord to show you a glimpse of why He has you where you are.  Wherever you are, know that you are good, you are worthy, and you are incredibly significant. 

Far from completion

“…he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  - Phil. 1:6

One month ago, my hubby and I started what I thought would be an easy project, painting the “calf poop brown” guest bedroom. Everything was prepped and ready to go; the plan was to scrape, sand, prime and finish the ceiling together, and then the following week while Chris was away for work, I would clothe the walls in gray.  But thanks to a lead paint-based ceiling, and plaster filler that wouldn’t set, the project came to an unexpected halt. 

To say that I was disappointed would be a bit of an understatement; in that moment, I felt defeated.  My husband, who has been working over 65 hours a week lately, was heading off for a full week of traveling and this paint job was the distraction I had created for myself.  I was so excited to have something to focus on while he was gone; I couldn’t wait to get it done.  So when I found out that wasn’t going to happen, all I could see was that my expectation was destroyed.  For an entire week I’d have to stare at a closed door knowing that what waited for me on the other side was a guest room covered in dusty plastic and a layer of toxic, lead paint chips. 

To be honest with you, this is a pretty accurate description of what my life feels like right now; instead of admiring shiny, finished products, I am in the trenches doing the hard work feeling far from completion.  I’m writing but it feels like the Lord has put a pause on writing my book.  I’m investing in our marriage that feels strained due to work-dictated-distance.  I’m lifting weights, going to yoga, and stretching all the time in order to strengthen my hypermobile body.  I’m pouring my heart into the work in each of these areas, and quite honestly, I’m tired of working; I want to see the finished product.

But here’s what my painting project reminded me… regardless of delays or unanticipated, extra steps, the work will get done and the project will get finished.  And at the end of it, it will look amazing!!

Sunday, a month later than expected, Chris and I finished painting the guest bedroom.  And let me tell you, it is beautiful.  The stained, lead-infested paint chips are replaced by a new crisp, glossy white ceiling.  And the calf poop brown is quickly forgotten with one glance at the flat, matte blue-ish gray walls that embrace the dark wooden trim. 

Seeing the beauty of this finished project was so encouraging for my soul because it was a tangible, visible example that hiccups, breaks or delays in execution will not affect the outcome; all the hard work will lead to completion.

Philippians 1:6 says, “…he who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Jesus Christ.”   It doesn’t say he who began a good work might carry it to completion, or he will start a good work; the scripture says he WILL carry it to completion. 

This is the motivation I’ve needed lately - a physical and mental reminder that the work I’m doing is not in vain.  And I hope it encourages you too.  Maybe you’re like me, struggling to see an end in sight, or maybe you’re actually in the beautiful stage of admiring the success of your hard work; wherever you are today, my prayer is that you would be proud of the good work you’re doing and that you might dig your heels in, and be expectant for the beautiful completion that is to come.

Did this strike a chord for you?  I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. 

5 ways I'm striving less

Last week I declared an anthem over my summer; birthed from Psalm 27:4, my summer intention is to change my focus from striving for my goals to seeking the Lord's goodness and His beauty right in front of me.  Making adjustments in my perspective and my habits has been a bit challenging, but I am already seeing the fruit. 

Today I want to share 5 ways I am striving less.  After sharing my anthem, I recognized that I am not alone in this struggle; so my hope is that by sharing 5 ways I'm striving less, you might be inspired in your own efforts.  

1. Reading more – I love reading a ton in summer, so this one isn’t too difficult to set in motion, but I’m looking at it more intentionally.  I want to immerse myself in words, whether it be a beachy fiction read or a spiritual memoir, so that I might better learn my craft.  Taking the time to nestle my nose in a book is not just a nice mental break from my own plans/writing goals, but it’s a way to embrace different styles of writing, to appreciate writers gone before me and hopefully add to my toolbox.  
    
2. Less Instagram – What I really mean by less Instagram is more like less Instagram pressure.  I love Insta; it’s my preferred method of social media, the following I am intentionally building, and it has become a wealth of community with fellow writers.  But, I have given it a bit too much power.  Trying to build a following, I was starting to feel wed to Instagram.  If I didn’t get a post out in time, I’d panic and stop whatever I was doing to make it happen.  That needed to stop – It was time to reevaluate my relationship with Instagram; I’m praising it for the blessing it is, but also taking away a bit of it’s power.  If I don’t post in a few days, IT WILL BE OKAY.  My success as a writer isn’t going to whither based on losing a follower or two.  Instead of panicked, must-post-or-else pressure, I am going to post with intentionality and be okay with natural breaks that come from enjoying the life outside of my iPhone.
    
3. Reassessing my goals- My heart’s desire is to write a book.  I set a goal in 2017 to do the work, to write the words, to set the ball in motion.  And ever since, I have been striving to make that happen.  I’ve been thinking, dreaming, planning, writing blog posts, but every time I sit down to work on words for my book, I screech to a halt.  Instead of forcing myself through, I’m reassessing my goals and asking the Lord if His timetable is different.  Taking a step back from book writing has brought a bit more freedom into my writing again; I’m working on submissions, and allowing myself the flexibility to write as I feel driven.  Goals can be motivating but they can also be restricting.  If a goal is causing more stress than it is excitement/motivation, I think it’s time to revise. 
    
4. Listening to my body – When I am in striving mode, it’s like running on a treadmill with no off-switch.  If my body feels tired, I give it no choice but to keep chugging.  Ain’t nobody got time for rest!  But the thing is, I do have time for rest.  No one is holding a gun to my head demanding production, that’s just me and my self-imposed expectations.  Learning to break this habit, and listen to my body is an irreplaceable value that I am constantly reminding myself to respect.  If I take a nap, it’s not a sign of weakness and I can guarantee it’s not going to keep me from reaching my goals; in fact, a rested body and a refreshed mind might be exactly what’s needed to press on. 
    
5. Getting into scripture more – this one may be number 5 on my list, but it’s definitely the most important.  My summer anthem isn’t just about striving less, it’s about seeking the Lord more – if I want to get to know Him more and learn how to better hear His voice in the craziness of this world then I need to utilize the tool that He has given me.  It still blows my mind to think that the words in the Bible are God-breathed; He spoke them, He inspired the authors to write them down.  Reading the Bible is a privilege that I most definitely take for granted. 

Have a sure-fire method you're using to strive less? I'd love to hear about it!  Let's do this together friends.

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“One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.” – Psalm 27:4

Miss the first post about Seeking vs. Striving?
Tap here to check it out. 

seeking vs. striving

“One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.” – Psalm 27:4

Over the past couple months I have been striving.  Striving to get more done, striving to get more followers on Instagram, striving to build a following, to figure out how to master this world of being a writer, and press myself forward into the calling the Lord has placed on my life.  It started out exciting; setting new goals, making changes, sitting in front of the computer with anticipation and ready fingers.  But the more I attempted, it felt as if I was pulling a weight behind me.  Straining to step forward, exhausted from the struggle, I started to recognize that perhaps this isn’t what the Lord wants for me right now.  That perhaps instead of striving, He wants me to loosen my grip on my goals and soak up what life has for me right here, right now. 

This is a really hard lesson to learn.  So much in the world of social media makes me feel like everyone is doing all the things right now.  Everyone else has already written their book(s), gained a following, and so I should too!  The last thing I want is to fall behind or even worse, miss my window of opportunity.  Even as I write those words, I’m realizing that’s exactly what it is.  I feel like God is writing a book on my heart, one I want to share with the world, and I am afraid that if I don’t do it now, right this instant, I will have missed my window. 

But what He’s teaching me, is that is 100% untrue.  The world might be proclaiming now, do it now, but I know that even if it’s later, or much, much later, God’s timing is perfect.  “What if I trusted that there would be more time down the road, that if that book has to be read or that party has to be thrown or that race has to be run or that trip has to be taken, there will be time to take it/do it/read it/write it later?  Later.  Later.”  These words from Shauna Niequist’s book Present over Perfect, are the wise, God-breathed words that I needed to hear and ones I need to write on my heart. 

So, if now isn’t the time for striving, then what is it time for?  How should I redirect my focus?  Hearing Psalm 27:4 in church on Sunday, I got my answer.  “One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.”  The words that struck me with gentle correction were, this only do I seek…to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and seek him in his temple.  The keyword I heard was only.  I’ve been so absorbed in pushing my calling forward, that I’ve yet again changed my focus from the One who gave me that calling.  This is a lesson that changed my life years ago, and one that I continue to learn over and over again; that above all else, my job is to seek Him.  I love how the author, David, doesn’t just say, see the Lord, watch Him or look at Him.  He says seek Him; meaning it requires some effort on my part.  It is my job to intentionally pursue the Lord and gaze upon the beauty that He has for me.  

This verse is the anthem I’m proclaiming over my summer; I’m changing my focus from striving for my goals to seeking His goodness and His beauty right in front of me.  I know that His timing is perfect, that with Him there is no such thing as a missed opportunity, now I just need to trust Him expectantly.    

Making this adjustment in my focus is not going to be easy, but I’m excited about it.  It’s freeing to throw off the weights of striving and to step into the truth that if He’s calling me to it, He will bring me through it, even if it’s later than I thought. 

Our lives are short.  We don’t know which breath will be our last; we must live with a sense of urgency.  But, not everything needs to be done now – the only thing that we must rush is to seek Him.  Everything else can wait. 

Influential Women Series - featured on Mollica Film Co.

I am so excited to share that today, you will find me over on the Mollica Film Co. blog.  Devyn Mollica, a Milwaukee-based videographer, and I first met through the walls of Instagram; we bonded instantly over a shared love for Waupaca, where she grew up, and where my family cabin resides.  Shortly after, Devyn and her husband moved to Milwaukee where we met for a cup of coffee.  

Devyn is a phenomenal wedding and commercial videographer, and an even sweeter person. Aside from sharing snippets of her work and behind the scenes peeks at her life on her blog, she started what she named the Influential Women series.  Devyn paints a beautiful picture of the heart behind the series in this blog post, but here's a short snippet of her "why". 

Being an influential woman does not always look like you think it will. 
I'm so excited to continue with this series...because I want you to broaden your understanding of what it means to be an influential woman. I don't want you to think that to be influential, you have to fit into a certain mold. You don't! If you leave this series having only learned one thing, I hope it's that being an influential woman looks different for everyone. 

Having already been following along with this series through Devyn's Instagram and blog, I was incredibly surprised and honored when she reached out and asked me to be a part of it. So, without further ado, I'd love for you to head over to the Mollica Film Co. blog where you will hear more about who I am, why I write, and how I hope to impact my community. 

Thank you so much Devyn, for blessing me.  I am humbled and honored that you considered me worthy to be a part of such an encouraging series.  

God is good even when bad things happen

Last week Monday was the end of a stressful, scary, and exhausting whirlwind.  Four days before, my sweet pops' heart rate unexpectedly dropped into the 30s. In God's perfect timing, he underwent two different procedures: one where they removed blockage in one of his arteries and left a stent in its place and another where they opened a small cavity in his chest and left him with a pacemaker.

Taking the time to breathe and wrap my mind around everything that happened, I realized - I can absolutely understand why people struggle with the question, “If God is good, why do bad things happen to good people?”  My dad works out 5 days a week, he has taken excellent care of his heart – why did he end up here?  Why couldn’t the stent have been enough? Why was a pacemaker the only answer?  Why did something so scary have to happen to someone so good?

I think we all have asked questions like this at some point in our life.  Why did grandma have to die of cancer?  Why did my sweet friends have a miscarriage?  Why did that marriage have to end in divorce? It’s questions like these that often create doubt that God is good.  And I totally get it.  If God is good, why would this happen? It is so easy to blame God for the things that go wrong in this world –for the sickness, for the cancer, for the hatred, for the murder –He’s the one who created us, so he must have also created the bad stuff too, right?  Well, here’s what I believe to be true. 

I believe that God created a perfect world – one where every single creature, every part of creation, even the two humans God created to enjoy it, lived in harmony.  In this perfection, there were no tears, no sickness and no death.  And in one moment, everything changed.   With God-given free will, Adam and Eve ate a piece of fruit from the one tree that God asked them not to, and this sin, broke the perfection God created.   From that moment on, things were not as God intended; brokenness entered in and every part of creation experienced its wrath, even our bodies.  God did not create cancer, heart disease or any kind of illness.  He did not put them within us; bad things happen because we live in a broken world. 

Although it’s disappointing that my dad ended up needing a stent and a pacemaker, it was incredible to see the way the Lord has protected him and provided for us throughout the entire process.  Instead of coming in due to a massive heart attack, my dad was alarmed by a low heart rate and went to the hospital before anything crazy happened.  The doctor who performed the pacemaker surgery was someone my dad knew through spin class; in fact, had this not happened, my dad had an appointment with him the very next week.  In God's perfect timing, family friends stopped in the hospital room at the very moment my parents desperately needed words of encouragement.  The Lord's handiwork was written all over each careful step of the process.  God is good even when bad things happen because He meets us in our brokenness and pulls us through them. 

Here’s the hard part – I know that not everyone’s story ends like my dad’s did.  I know that we are incredibly lucky that he is still with us and that a pacemaker was the answer to his problem.  But I have to say, even in death God is still good. 

Because of Christ, because of his death and resurrection, even death, is not the end.  God loves us so much that He sacrificed everything to make certain the end result is good.  One day, all of creation will be restored to its original state of perfection – all of our broken bodies, all the cancer, all the disease, all the sadness will be redeemed. 

My hope, amidst the heaviness, rests in the truth that no matter what, even when bad things happen to good people, God is still good. 

Lamentations 3:22-23 says, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

My prayer today is that you, too, might rest assuredly in the fact that the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His faithfulness is great even in the heavy places. 

Faith to call the dogs

Last Saturday had all the markings of a joy-filled day.  The sun was shining, I shed my winter coat for a windbreaker, and I was on my way out the door to walk to the neighborhood donut shop.  The air smelled of spring and my spirits were high; and then the inconceivable happened.  For no apparent reason, the neighbors’ dog attacked me. 

The sweet dog, that once tried to climb on my lap and nuzzle into my hands, snapped.  With absolutely no warning, the black lab mix threw herself at me. One of her front paws connected with my right shoulder as her aggressive barks brought shivers to my spine.  Restrained solely by the leash gripped by her owner’s hand, my neighbor yanked her back rescuing me from what could’ve amounted to much worse than the scratch and bruise that now marked my flesh.

In shock, I assured my neighbor I was okay and made my way to the donut shop.  Carried by muscle memory, I ordered my regular, a vanilla raised donut with sprinkles and a decaf vanilla latté, and headed back home.  Inside the walls of my living room, trauma set in.  With a shaky hand I texted my husband, who was up north helping my dad with a project, typing the words I had just realized, “It really scared me.  I could have gotten really hurt.”  Tears slipped down my cheeks as I replayed the terror-filled moment in my head, wondered what happened, and imagined what could have happened.  With a restricted breath I realized, if my neighbor had lost grip of the leash, I could have been mauled. 

At my church we have been studying the book of Luke.  This past week Pastor Matt spoke about Luke 21:5-38, where Jesus warns His disciples that persecution will come to anyone who aligns themselves with Him.   He talked about how this teaching was incredibly timely for the believers who first read the words from Luke because persecution was a reality they dealt with many times.  Pastor Matt then proceeded to share a story about a woman from 3rd century Carthage, modern day Tunisia, named Perpetua. 

During this time, the Roman Empire rounded up communities of thriving Christians to persecute them for their belief.  Taken as prisoners to the coliseum, Christians had two choices – recant their faith by saying, “There is no lord but Caesar.”  Or proclaim Jesus as Lord and be released into the coliseum where bloodthirsty crowds cheer as they are devoured by animals. 

Perpetua, one of the Christians imprisoned for her belief, was given this very choice.  In fact, her father tried to convince her to buy her way out of prison, to do whatever it took to walk away alive.  But she didn’t.  She refused to recant her faith knowing that by doing so she was calling the animals to devour her. 

Having just faced an aggressive dog, this picture struck a tender chord.  In my experience, the angry pup was not there for punishment.  It wasn’t there to kill me; it was restrained.  It belligerently barked its discontent, threw itself at me, but I was left with only a bruise.  I wasn’t mauled, I wasn’t bitten, I wasn’t devoured; but I was terrified.

Perpetua’s faith in Jesus, in the truth that He is the king of kings, the one and only Lord, was so strong that not even the horrifying reality that ravenous animals were about to sink their teeth into her flesh and rip the life from her body, could make her turn away. 

This got me thinking.  Is my faith strong enough to call the dogs?  

Jesus loves us so much, that He accepted death way worse.  He sacrificed himself on the cross, the most inhumane punishment, for us.  The Lord raised Him from the dead to conquer the evil one and destroy the power of death, for us.   And because of this incomparable gesture, we get to know the Lord as our father, to speak with Him openly, and one day, live with Him in eternity. (see John 3:16)

In Luke 21:19, Jesus said, “By standing firm you will gain life.”  Perpetua, and so many Christians like her, lived this out.  And I want to, too.  I want to believe in Jesus so wholly that, even if it means calling the dogs, I will stand firm.  

My prayer is that this weekend, as we celebrate the work that Jesus did on the cross, we might praise Him, revel in the joy of the resurrection and more fully place our trust in Him.  He is worth it.